need another drink. this is the easiest way
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
