jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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