Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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