I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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