Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
