yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
