whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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