i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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