Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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