Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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