So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
