He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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