My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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