and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
