Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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