I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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