I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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