my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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