do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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