I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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