Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
