i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
