sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
