Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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