My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
