Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
