That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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