Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
