How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
