Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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