More tranny stories later!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
