you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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