Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
