Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
