my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
