i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I didn't notice because vodka
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
