So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
