in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
