Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
