question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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