I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
