if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
