So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize