Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
