next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize