i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
