thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
