so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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