He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
