Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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