I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
