What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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