he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We are two peas in an std pod
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
