In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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