so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
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I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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