Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
